I am very tired today; trying to learn something new. I am not much of a homemaker.
Laziness, you know son, it is a disease. We find supplications from our Messenger’s ahadith; he sought refuge from laziness and being unproductive.
I just don’t want you to learn a few lessons the way I learnt; the hard way into my adolescence. Don’t get me wrong here. You will experience life but see your mother can’t see you suffering and drowning in misery to learn lessons. If you are well-read about our deen, you will save yourself from a lot of biases and distorted perceptions.
Listen, we all have our vulnerabilities and this is why I am writing to you. This very letter is very important and can make you go a long way.
Listen, I love you and each word I write to you months before your birth is dripping with the most genuine form of love you will ever know. Please read and absorb. I want you break the shackles of such perceptions before the society imprisons you.
Don’t judge women. Please vaccinate yourself against any patriarchal viruses that have come down your collective unconscious. I have been through the worst kind of ridicule which was least expected; my religion was questioned, blamed, labelled, judged and ridiculed. It is a lifelong trial but on the flipside it occurs due to sickness of our hearts. What is the first thing that this sickness makes us do? Judge. The petty tyrant is stuck in a vicious blame game cycle.
Never look down upon any human being based on an authentic act of worship they are practising from drinking water the Sunnah way to Jihad. Reflect inside yourself before you naturally come to a conclusion. I sound a mother here but I have to save you from this spiritual-caridological disease that you can catch from the society.
If on a road, make way for all women. Not just ‘covered women’. Lower your gaze and repeat self-control statements rather than blaming a woman. Read about all the incidents where our Prophet interacted with women (believers or non believers). Also, try to draw an analogy between the Queen of Saba mentioned in the Quran and the incident of the slander of the mother of the believers’ Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her). See how our Prophet dealt with old women and young female children. I don’t see prejudice. I don’t see bias. I see mercy to mankind. I see the epitome of righteousness.
I love you baby. I can’t let you ignore our goal: the pleasure of our Creator who created us as a representative. You cannot mistreat a woman in the name of poverty, immodesty or freedom of expression. The closest friends of Allah on this planet fear their Rabb with regards to treatment to women. No privileges in this case. Only massive responsibility!
Never judge a women by her dress. May Allah make you learn quite earlier in life who the Judge is. He is Adil. We can’t make just judgements; we tend to err. We don’t have any detection instrument with us. If you feel helpless and can’t lower your gaze please don’t blame the female (whatever her age).
I am with you when you take your stance of immorality and immodesty from the Quran and Hadith. I am with you! We as a society need sensitization for modesty, piety and morals. However. Judging women is not the way.
I wanted to write about various reasons we shouldn’t judge but let’s just don’t make excuses. We have no license to judge until there is injustice around and we have to play a socially responsible role. For that too, we need an intense amount of training and knowledge.
Go by the book; don’t go by the people. Hate the sin, not the sinner. Preach self-control before freedom of expression. Respect all before judging.
If you learn this, Allah will put the love of people at your disposal. Earn respect by practising deen not by pinpointing the one who isn’t doing it.
You are going to go to social places and meet people. I can’t let you be; can’t let you be full of biases and faulty perceptions about women.
I pray that you never become part of any judgemental conversations or discussions that can ruin your psyche. May Allah save you from being brainwashed. May Allah save you and protect you with Islam from front and back, top and bottom, left and right.
Work on becoming someone who can shun the biases and vacuum them out of this community. I am always here. Love you.
I would love you more if you talk about your vulnerabilities and your slips. We can work on it together. The best part of this relationship ought to be when you and me sit together to reflect on things we cant reflect with anyone else.